Good Loving
When we were born, we were ready and willing to know love in every cell of our being. We knew nothing of this society; we did not know we were male or female. We felt everything through our cells, our senses. Our bodies responded naturally to our environment. We knew when to sleep, to wake, hunger, thirst; bodily functions moved through us and were expressed effortlessly.
We looked out into the world from our insides. Our instincts lead us, into the world.
As we grew experiences happened that created discrepancies. What we felt inside began to become questionable due to exterior influences. Our ability to fully trust our own Somatic experience and ourselves began to change.
This in-congruency set up what could be labeled low self-esteem, or an inability to trust our own truth. Our life force began to grow smaller; our capacity to respond to life in a natural way began to shift. Major influential forces such as the education system supported this dumbing down of our life force.
Our freedom to move, which was intact in infancy became more and more controlled. Televisions are turned on to tune us out of ourselves; children begin to sit for long periods in classrooms, at computers, in front of various entertainment entrapments. A body in its natural state will without effort discharge sensation, emotion and experience. Watch any young child, watch the expression of their body, how they without shame or intellect wiggle, shake, stomp, jump, twirl, dance, laugh, cry and interact from the inside of themselves with their entire body. Their spines are flowing, moving, they are not depressed, bored or self absorbed. They are within and without; they do not need stimulants to bring them to this state. They are present.
Our systems successfully shut us down so we can become, good, quiet, insatiable consumers, who basically are looking outside of ourselves for something to fill the deep void inside of us. We do not cause much trouble, be are fairly polite, we keep shopping and drinking endless lattes and wondering what the hell happened to us.
Well what happened is your life force had to get small to fit in, and basically you just really miss that life force. You long for it like a lover looking for their beloved. You miss being alive.
You walk around wanting something to bring it back, or feeling this empty place inside of you and not knowing quite sure what it is, why is it there, or if it is even real? Questions like: is there something wrong with me, what do I have to change, what do I need…flutter around like escaped birds, going nowhere. Your life becomes something outside of you; this is basically the law of our society, the law of control which seed is LOW SELF ESTEEM. If we spend our lives hating ourselves on some level we will not have the time or energy to support change, growth and a healthy vibrant planet. Our bodies, which when we were little delighted us, often become our enemy, men and women alike will never match up to the unobtainable ideals of this society. We become fixated with the lives of movie stars because their lives, the way they look, their bodies are what we are meant to strive for. Once more utterly externally focused in a fantasy of delusion and deception.
Seriously! How many of us go there, regardless as to how political, environmental, sensitive or creative we may be. How many of us still come up short somehow in our brutal self inquisition. More is always better.
Our fixation with self-absorption has reached new epic heights. I can be so narcissistic I make myself ill. Where does depression come from? Perhaps if I was wiggling around dancing, singing and sticking out my tongue on the bus I might feel more alive. Perhaps if I was skipping down the street saying hi to everyone regardless as to how nerdy that might seem, perhaps just perhaps I might have more fun, love myself more and realize that life is ridiculous and gorgeous.
I am spoiled; it is that simple, there are a million different lattes to choose from. If I am depressed it is highly likely that I have allowed my life to be so deeply self absorbed that I am caught in my own rabbit hole. If I peek out, and if I take a chance, peek out and smile, this simple act could perhaps create a small tremor in the world.
I am inviting you to take your bodies back from the evil clutches of MASTER SELF HATE, who is roommate with MISTRESS YOU ARE NEVER GOING BE GOODENOUGH SO BUY SOMETHING OR INGEST SOMETHING TO TAKE THE EDGE OFF (IT’S OKAY EVERYONE DOES IT), can’t you hear their sultry enticing voices? Isn’t it sexy? Doesn’t it just make you want some?
TRUE LOVE starts under your skin, in your belly, your breath, your heartbeat. No one, will ever, ever, ever, love you enough to take away the emptiness. Love begins within, firstly by actually feeling what ever it is that is going on for you, not the distortion or distraction, but actually sensitizing yourself to yourself. Going home back to the place you started from. Your little body, from here becoming reacquainted with your sensations, becoming a committed lover to life, your life.
This is the “work” of real love, and honestly it is work, it does not come easily. With this I ask you, why does work have such a bad name? Work is creative; it is the foundation for dreams. No lottery will bring you love. It is about rolling up your sleeves and saying, “YES”, I am in! I going work up some love, build me some of that good stuff. It is getting dirty for love, sweaty, unkempt, and messy, love can be snotty, tearful, and stinky, frightening but ultimately it is there, in each of us. We were born loving, it was easy, now there is just the work of going back home, even if the road is dark and you are scared, there are always little candles along the way if you only smile at them, they will light up.
